Two sequels: One fly, one must die | Entertainment

MEMO

TO: Universal Pictures, Steven Spielberg and Amblin Entertainment

RE: Jurassic World Dominion

gentlemen:

Stop this “Jurassic World Dominion”, I want to get down. Seriously. Please. There is no meat left in this dinosaur carcass. The franchise has been picked clean.

“Jurassic World Dominion” (Universal-Amblin, 2022, 140 min.), is billed as the final chapter of the second trilogy – hope – brings back Laura Dern, Sam Neill, and Jeff Goldblum from the ’90s “Jurassic” films and , like Abbott and Costello, got them to meet Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard from the new movies, with plenty of dinosaurs to see. And isn’t it sad how no one cares about a great actor like Laura Dern unless there’s one of these stupid films going into production? You used to rely on Jeff Goldblum to make movies fun and quirky, but even he seems to prefer playing the piano at home.

I thought the first “Jurassic Park” (1993) was fine, but it wouldn’t even make my top ten Spielberg films, and aside from a few suspenseful action sequences, “The Lost World” (1997) was pretty much filmed. . In fact, Joe Johnston’s “Jurassic Park III” (2001) is my favorite series. Why? Its runtime is 92 minutes. To quote “Barton Fink” (1991), “It’s people! Chasing dinosaurs! What do you need, a roadmap?” Gentlemen, these films don’t have to be more than two hours long.

Once upon a time, Colin Trevorrow made the sweet and romantic sci-fi indie film “Safety Not Guaranteed” (2012), and now he’s spent nearly a decade props up Spielberg’s old amusement park ride. The thing is, he’s not Spielberg, so he shouldn’t be making Spielberg’s leftovers.

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To quote the end, great Lester Bangs, if you thought I was going to review “Top Gun: Maverick” (Paramount-Skydance, 2022, 131 min.), you’re crazy. But I will swim in it. (Thank you, Lester.)

I saw “Top Gun” when it opened in 1986, and while I grudgingly admit that this stupid movie really does work on your emotional patriotism, I’m 23, I hate the military-industrial complex and the entire Reagan era. This film works on you, just as slick, but I know “Top Gun” is a very expensive military recruit advert, and it’s no coincidence that co-producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director Tony Scott started their careers in advertising.

These films make their political details hazy and fuzzy, and their bad guys are completely faceless like the “Star Wars” storm troopers, but “Top Gun: Maverick”, held back nearly three years due to COVID, is really like intended. : festive and well-made summer popcorn movie. The director Joseph Kosinski (“Oblivion”) and the three writers of the film really went out of their way to honor

Tony Scott’s original film – dedicated to him – and connects the new story with ’86 mythology, so much so that the film’s opening is a direct copy of the first, including the opening text, Han Zimmer score, and jets taking off and landing in Kenny’s “Danger Zone”. Loggins. (Jennifer Connelly skilfully stepped into female romantic roles, meaning that Kelly McGillis, who was never mentioned in the sequel, got a lollipop blurry ending. The mute Val Kilmer gets a more loving cameo.)

I would think that Simpson and Bruckheimer would make a cottage industry work on a “Top Gun” sequel; shouldn’t we reach “Top Gun 6” by now? It took them 35 years to get here, beating “Bill and Ted Face the Music” by six years. Then it hit me that, as much as the aesthetic of the Simpson-Bruckheimer action music video persisted after “Top Gun,” none of their films actually spawned a sequel. No “The Rock 2” or “Con Air 2” or “Armageddon 2” or “Gone in another 60 Seconds” or “Pearl Harbor 2” (Okay, that makes sense.).

(I’m raving about all of this on Facebook, and Michael Kehoe points out that Simpson and Bruckheimer did produce three “Beverly Hills Cop” films, a fourth film is in development on Netflix, and Bruckheimer has produced five “Pirates of the Caribbean” films, three ” Bad Boys” and two “National Treasures”. So many my theories.) Best of all, you can watch “Top Gun: Maverick” without feeling like you have to “join.” Recommended: “Year of Light” at Regal Stadium 14.

RIP: Philip Baker Hall (“Secret of Honor”, “Midnight Run”, “Kiss of Death”, “Hard Eight”, “The Rock”, “Air Force One”, “Boogie Nights”, “The Truman Show”, ” Rush Hour”, “Enemies of the State”, “Psycho”, “Insider”, “Magnolia”, “Argo”)

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